There is something about chasing goats around in the brush
and getting sunburnt while building a fence line that is incredibly refreshing after
spending the past 6 months with my nose to the grindstone. Riding with juniors
on CX bikes (and getting dropped), finding myself lost in the mountains of
Montana, running out of food and water with good friends on epic MTB rides, and
elk tacos all also seem to bring me back to my roots and stir my motivation.
We all have different things that inspire us to get out of
bed in the morning and motor along with our days… for some it’s their kid’s
futures, for others money, but I think for the majority of us its a little less
tangible… because we have some sort of visceral desire to contribute to society
in some way, and find pleasure in the ways we go about our routines. I know
personally I lost sight of that over the past 6 months. Or maybe I didn’t loose
sight so much as I lost the feeling that what I was doing was somehow
contributing to something larger than myself, and I know that I wasn’t always
finding pleasure in my routine while living abroad. Even with phenomenal teammates and support from BMC, because many of the
things/people/ideas that enrich life were halfway around the globe, living in
Switzerland, living to train and race, started to feel pretty unrewarding at times. I
know that probably seems kinda ridiculous to someone who works in the real
world… but when a passion and escape become the means to a paycheck, a lot of
things get pretty muddled up. And when that passion is all you invest your
energy in, well it means it can no longer be an escape. And that’s a damn
stressful way to live. So after getting sick in MSA, riding like shit at
Windham and Nationals, spending a week on antibiotics and sleeping, I’ve been
trying to find a more healthy space to for training and racing to occupy in my
life. 
Two weeks chasing goats around 10 acres at Allen’s house,
building fence, clearing brush and getting sunburnt was my first step in that.
I took 10 days off the bike, took some antibiotics, and used my body in a way that it wasn’t used to. I
was bug-bitten, sunburned, scratched and sore, and I haven’t felt so good in a
while. Once I started to feel healthy again I decided to go exploring with Pete and Lydia on mountain bikes….
And did we explore! We were totally lost as we headed up toward Elkhorn Pass
southeast of Big Sky, but somehow amidst what seemed like dozens of unmarked
game and horse trails we ended up on the right one. We climbed and climbed
toward the wilderness, and away from the rest of the world. We found some
amazing descending and then by chance, nearly 2 hrs into a ride, a sign that
showed us the way to our own mortality. As we climbed up a muddy, horse wrecked
Buffalo Horn trail to what I think was Porcupine Lake, we all decidedly ran out
of water and food. It was one of those days where you pass through hunger and
into exhaustion and come out on the other side stronger than you were at the
beginning. Your body finds a way to make itself go… it’s a transcendent
feeling. At the end of an hour-long, Star Wars descent down Porcupine trail, we
all seemed to have immense smiles on our faces and ample energy for high fives,
wheelies and stoke. I don’t think I’ve ridden anything that cool in a long,
long time. The ride took us no less than 6 hrs and the only people we saw had
backpacked in from a much closer Tom Miner on the other side of the Gallatin
Crest, and gave us strange looks. It was brilliant…
Since then I have slowly started to get back into a rhythm
on the bike and in my day to day life. Coffee, goats, breakfast, ride, nap,
town, BBQ with friends, goats. It feels really damn good. And I finally feel
healthy and strong again. My legs aren’t the hollow shells they were 3 weeks ago, nor do I carry the mental fatigue that plagued me at the end of May and into June.
I also had the opportunity to go up to Helena and hang out
with a bunch of super talented Junior CX racers at a USAC camp run by Geoff
Proctor this week. I have a lot of confidence in the future of US Cycling after
that. It was humbling. Those kids are fast… and they work hard. They are all so
much further along in their development and the opportunities that have been
presented to them than I was at their age. Some of them are already killing it
over in Europe and are only 16 or 17 years old. I didn’t go to Europe until I
was 18, and I had my ass handed to me over there until last year when I was 22…
I know we all have a different trajectory, but no matter what, those are the
kids who will soon be earning the US medals at World Cups and World
Championships. It was inspiring to see them riding so hard, and having so much
fun doing it. If we could all hold onto that as we grow in this sport, powerful
things could happen. I’m going to try by continuing to put off building up the
SLR01 that showed up on my doorstep the other day. Proud to say that over the
past 10 days of training, I’ve ridden single track each day… and I’m better for
it!
No comments:
Post a Comment